beast, not beauty (rccolagal) wrote,
beast, not beauty

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New Year's Resolution

As of the past year, I have been a terrible friend. I have alienated all those people I know and love, although I'm not really sure why. I've always been an antisocial person who really hates to go out, put this past year has been worse.

I guess in a sense I could blame this on R. With him, I don't need to put any effort into going out and making/keeping friends. He'll drive himself here, hang, and drive himself home, without any effort on my part. And in the process I've ignored all of my friends. However, I can't blame R, since the truth is I'm just lazy and need to take account for my actions.

So my New Year's Resolution is this: To apologize to and reconnect with the people I've brushed off over the past year.

Unfortunately, this is going to be a hard process. Of course there are some people that you are only casually friends with, and therefore are the easiest to just email and say "Hi!" without any direct explaination to why you are doing so. But then there are people like Cyn, and Lissa, and of course my sister Dana, that will be really difficult, with no guarantee that they will really accept my apology and friendship again.

All I can say is I love them and hope they forgive me when I do try to contact them.
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I know I need a lot of attention but you are the only person that I can really be myself with without apologizing. So you don't have to apologize to me - just make more time for me!